Still starving for 1 Mark

I am a Mechanical Engineer, working in top tier software firm. My dreams were different. To be an Electronics Engineer. I don't know what I would have been doing if I would be Electronics Engineer probably the same thing I am doing now, but yes, I wanted to. This dream was shattered when I didn't get admission to Electronics branch as I missed admission criteria by 1 mark. Admission closed at 280 out of 300 and I was having 279 in my hand. So I chose to go to Electrical Branch.

I studied hard in first year of engineering and got highest marks in my class so I was eligible to get branch transfer now. I filled in the form of branch transfer with 2 options. First option for Electronics and Second for Mechanical Branch. And to my bad luck only one seat was allowed for branch transfer and ironically a guy with 1 mark more than me got this seat. Wow !! Second time I missed it with 1 mark. Who else than me can understand the importance of 1 mark!!

Days passed, I came out of college with a degree of Mechanical Engineer and offer letter from one of the reputed Software company in Pune. I joined company, and after successful completion of my training I joined a project. And then I appeared for some certifications for knowledge growth and for compulsory (mandatory)  requirements of project. Yes, you guessed it right I couldn't pass them and every time I was 1 mark short . (You may think if I am dumb enough not to pass these exams but imagine how should I judge my self when I got 59 in every exam I appeared when it was required to get 60 to pass). And then I stopped, I stopped to appear to exams as my certification page was showing 5 exams with 'Fail' remark and 59 marks next to it. I even became paranoid to think that developer of that exam has set default marks against my name.

Days passed, I jumped to a different company. And last week only I decided to appear for another (external) certification. Yet again I failed, this time with 59.5 Marks. Well, seeing improvement in my marks but not well enough to get that 'Pass' remark against my name. As soon as I saw my marks, I could feel the importance of 1 mark more and more. All these instances where I was short of this 1 mark tumbled in front of my eyes. I could feel the starvation for 1 mark, the starvation of a win over this mental block of 1 mark.

I was watching single and double trap matches on TV (Olympics) the same evening. (If you are not aware about this competition then here you can read about it: Trap Shooting). 6 players were shooting clay targets. Michael Diamond who equaled world record (which can't be broken as record is of 125 out of 125 targets) and qualified for finals. In final, unfortunately he missed few and his score tied with Fehaid Aldeehani. So bronze medal match came to a breathtaking tie breaker. And Michael Diamond missed one shot, he lost and couldn't get any medal. It's irony that a person scoring world record didn't get any medal that day. I could imagine nobody else than Michael knows importance of that one target. He must have thought if he could have shot 'that one missed target' to get one more chance, one more opportunity.  

And I thought of 1 mark agony. And I was happy for the first time on that day that I didn't miss any medal due to that 1 mark. I didn't miss anything which I could have got with that 1 mark. I am having many other opportunities to appear for exam and Michael was not having any chance now. And I smiled for the first time on that day .. with a hope to do better (at least by 1 mark) in that exam whenever I will appear for exam again. 

Culture!!

 I am very much fond of Indian Culture. There are many things which I think are exceptional in our Indian Culture, especially we have a distinct nature to preserve 'Family Value', to conserve 'Respect' and 'Conservativeness'. I mentioned these natures as we can find people in India having parental feeling in a divergent way. There is a huge difference in the way of upbringing the child in India. And so we respect our parents, elders and because of which usually 'smoking, drinking' is kept veiled from parents. This nature is to that extent that I have seen or experienced any talks about these so called 'Sensitive' topics are usually avoided. 'Sex' is another topic which can't be discussed openly. It's always kept hidden and I have started observing detriments of this nature.

Today I read news in TOI (link). This is second case of molestation in this month. I know this could be a normal/regular thing but now a days it's getting more media attention. And this news triggered thoughts in my mind. Why still girls are not safe out on the roads? 

There are many reasons like lack of safety measures, poor laws to punish molesters, ineffective police control and to a major extent "In-sensitiveness of people present at the scene". But making sure these things should be these is 'a treatment of disease'.  Cause of disease lies in one 'nature' I mentioned above. Hiding the things makes things inexplicable. And especially with topic like 'Sex' piques someone's curiosity easily. It's pretty unfortunate that every city has 'Red Light Area' but we say it's unethical to have it like it's there in cities like Amsterdam. So in short, hiding things aggrandize or comes out in a wrong way. This is definitely not to support molestation but to enlighten problems of proclaimed culture where we need 'Ladies Compartment' in local trains, where girls can not go out alone at night, where wearing western cloths is a sin for girls. 

We should learn to respect other person irrespective of gender. Sensitiveness is a nature of human being. I heard few people saying after Guwahati Molestation (link) "That girl was wearing revealing cloths, and so this is girl's mistake as well". So what? It was her choice to wear cloths she wants. Her skirt and T-shirt doesn't give you right to molest her!! Even a prostitute has a right to roam around  and you can't molest her because she is already a prostitute. We definitely need to change the thinking, behavior and nature. We should respect other person. And it's a time to when this should be inculcated. This should be discussed at home, with parents, with elders. And parents should remember 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree', so it's their responsibility to discuss about untapped topics. 

There will be freedom of discussing topics like 'sex'. Though this is not a only reason for such molestation cases but it would take the topic of 'sex' out of the curtains and we would not think 'girl' as an object of amusement. We would respect 'girl' as another human being with similar feelings about this subject. We would be able to control urge/feeling otherwise can't imagine how the world would be.  

I respect Indian culture but these are few flaws in it. It should be changed. We will not find molesters on the road. And I wish there should be such a punishment for molestation that no other person should dare to do it again. I hope all molesters would be prosecuted so these molestation cases would not happen again.

Anna Hazare, Congress and Media...

In my childhood I used to listen stories of King-Queen, Prince-Princes and Villains.. kingdoms, people living in kingdoms...

Many days passed, and now after I grown up I have started seeing the role plays of those stories now!!

Yesterday I was watching the press conference hosted by Anna Hazare on different news channels. He complained about 'Salman Khurshid (SK) - A minister of  prominent Ministry of Law and Justice who is a Lawyer by education- a conspicuous personality of Indian National Congress Party. Anna Hazare was telling that he met SK 'in private' after his invitation of a secrete meet to discuss the progress of 'Lokpal Bill'. It seemed that Congress party have started to consider some thing about Lokpal Bill seriously. But my hope died away after listening the reason of the Press Conference. It was to communicate to the public/media that Mr. SK (the lawyer) cheated him by sending letters to other members of the 'Team Anna' about his secrete meeting. Obviously letters were not directly sent by Mr. SK but from Union Minister of States 'V Narayanaswami'.

This could be a another trick to create a rift in the team fighting against corruption. Brilliant isn't it? Today I got a chance to see a debate on this topic and I was held stood after hearing to Congress Spokesman (Mr. Janardan Chandurkar - Another Lawyer). He was saying that Arvind Kejriwal (AK) gets stardom status with these kinds of movements (i.e. Anti-Corruption Movement). AK got his 3 photos in news paper where there was only one of 'Anna Hazare'. Bang on !! It cleared all the doubts of SK's meet (secrete) with Anna Hazare.

I was right about the politics. These people will try to break the team fighting against corruption and rule again to stole the money away to the tax heavens to substantiate a proverb 'India is a poor country of few rich people' (see link).

On the other hand, I couldn't justify Anna Hazare's decision to meet SK secretly. Anna Hazare must be knowing these people better than anybody. He must understand the kings and 'The Queen' will do whatever possible to hold the crown, the sovereignty and to hand over the kingdom to the Prince. They definitely are not trustworthy. I believe 'Anna' you are ...

 I wonder if these kings and 'Queen' use this brilliance for our Kingdom .. we could see kingdom would be free of at least few of the problems ...

 

Senses ..

We have learned in 5th grade about 5 senses. With all these sense there is one more which is never taught in school, that is common sense. And this is the one which is required to taught in the school. At least I have started thinking like that!
Coming to the point directly, now a days I have seen people losing their senses. Sense to see what is happening. Sense to listen whatever is coming to them. Sense to feel (the touch). This is not up to any specific case. You are standing in a queue, people would do anything to jump the queue, probably they are losing their sense of vision to see there are other people standing. If you try to shout for this then they will ignore you as you are alien, probably they are losing their sense to listen. And at last they would never feel that they are pushing you aside, probably they have lost their sense to touch.
This is just a generalized example. If we look around us we see people throwing rubbish on the road especially from their kitchen window. We see people rushing ruthlessly while driving and ignoring old aged pedestrians crossing the road. We see people talking as loud as possible to disturb other people as far as possible. We see people standing near accident spot discussing how it happened instead of helping injured person.
And so on ... this list would never end neither such thoughts of general awareness!!


Selfishness is  everywhere in this world and an another example of 'abating senses', but there must be a line drawn to decide to what extent one should think of selfishness. There are few norms if we follow our life would be a lot better than what is now. If we keep our senses live, we could think of for people, our society, our nation.

I always thought Indian culture is very good compared to other culture we call as 'western'. Yes, it is good in one aspect but there are few good things we should take from so called 'western' culture. I was impressed by the way people behave in public places. The first thing which we observe when we go to other counties is discipline. I never saw a person jumping the queue. I always saw people observing traffic rules. I saw people waiting to enter lift/train till other person comes out. I learned the rule of 'ladies first' there as I never seen a man entering or coming out of the lift if any lady is waiting to go in or come out.
Today I saw a picture of traffic jam in London with a news "American and Australian Olympic team stuck in traffic due to Olympic lane". I didn't find any car in that Olympic lane in that picture as this lane is reserved to Olympic Vehicles only. This is the way people follow rules there. And everyday I wish I will find vehicles following the lane discipline in India (at least in Pune).

Vehicles stranded due to Olympic Lane:

Definitely  I am one of these people not following rules and I think I should change first, but I have seen the affects of following the rules on road :). Don't know how it this could be followed, but I know one thing that everybody should follow the discipline and life would be much easier.

Sun is not rising ..

Sky is still dark, intricate. No wind of hope to let abate the clouds. Trees are still, birds are not chirping.

Where I have came to. I don't know. But things are gloomy.

It's been a long time, have been waiting for a sunshine. I'm seeing other half of the world taking sun bath. Still it tells me other half is with me .. waiting for sun rise and hoping for moon to give some light. But it's not giving it. The light is pale. May be these are no moon days .. but how many? There should be only a day in fortnight. But for me days are passing without light .. light of hope .. light of energy ..

I am fighting hard to come out .. to come over this situation .. but not a single sight of breeze which I can use to rejuvenate, to stand stern, to fly to sunshine. I don't know how I came to this place, something discerned me to this place, this condition. 

I look at mirror, I am not able to see a smile. May be due to tearful eyes or may be because I don't want to. Things are to abide with me .. 

 

Waiting for the day.. I will see myself in mirror in pride, with honor. Waiting for the day when I pass my day with joy, with smile and waiting for that day when I won't be mulling over this condition ..

What you would do ..

Have you ever faced a situation like this ...
There is an important match coming up on TV. You have done everything possible to come early from office to watch it. You come home, sit in front of TV and your mom/wife/father asks to change a channel to watch other program. What you would do?
You can fight over it and deny to change the channel. But what if other person gets upset. Would you be able to sit and watch with complete interest having in mind that your stubborn behavior making other people upset?

I don't know about many other people, but I can not. I will abdicate, change the channel and tell the other person to watch program. But in this case as well the thing will always be in my mind that I couldn't watch the match. Both the ways I am down!

This is very generic and this may happen with anybody. And to be honest this is a very simple case, not that complicated as I am telling here. But there are so many things similar to this happen in our lives. Speaking out makes other person unhappy and you can't see person unhappy.
There are two different conditions of this. If that other person is not too close to us then we tend to ignore his unhappiness and it's easy to ignore as we will not face him everyday so eventually as time passes we tend to forget about it to move on but when the person is too close to you, then it's very difficult to ignore his/her unhappiness. As we have to face him/her everyday.

It's very easy to come to solution in above scene by discussing and convincing other person that match is important to me and s/he can watch program during the breaks.
But in real life when decisions can't be taken by discussing the things, what you would do?
It's always difficult to manage people and their emotions.

Another scene:
Guy falls in love with a girl, girl refuses to be with him. He becomes sad and unless girl sees him being sad, things are little easy.
As day passes his sadness abates. And it becomes easy to move on for the guy and girl.
But what if girl meets him everyday.. she can see him going downcast. And this is unpropitious condition for both of them as it's difficult for him to forget about his feelings for girl.
There would be a guilt feeling in her mind for his sadness..
What you would do in such case?

Girl can't say 'yes' to that guy just to avoid this situation. And from her perspective as well it's very difficult to come to a solution. So if you ask me, I would suggest to be away for few days as far as possible. It's definitely not an easy thing to do but necessary to move on.We can't take these things out of mind but we can keep it away.

I have also seen few friends are still to gather, they meet everyday (and they seem to be happy) after going through this phase. I can't imagine how they could have managed thoughts from their mind.

There are so many examples like this in our day to day life. Some people handle it wisely, few people fight, few cry ..
There are people who gone through all this, probably they are strong enough to forget and forgive the sadness of abdication.
And according to me a little positiveness can help to handle these things in everyday life.

So be positive and believe in your splendor .. 

Pollu-tics !!

Yesterday, I got chance to see a movie-'Shanghai ..'. 

Fortunately I didn't know anything about the movie before I entered the movie hall as it helped to get surprise of the movie's screenplay, I wouldn't have got otherwise. As soon as I came out of the hall, I started thinking about the politics shown in the movie. Not because I have extreme interest in politics but I started seeing real life examples how the things happen in India. Especially with politics .. 

Anybody against the system/government/ruling party is either wrong or bad. This is a thumb rule now.  I remember, Manish Tiwari's allegations that Anna Hazare was corrupt from "head to toe". Sharad Pawar's (NCP's) statement that Anna Hazare is like 'Nathuram Godase'. Income tax department slapping fine on Arvind Kejriwal to pay 9 lakh rupees. News started flowing out how Kiran Bedi is fraud And now service tax department has slapped notice of 4.94 crore rupees on Baba Ramdv's trust. 

Every time I see/read such news I get the feeling which I got while seeing movie on the screen. Every person who raised his voice to shout against the ruling party gets killed!! 

In real life it's the same .. isn't it? 

Anna Hazare and his team started anti corruption movement. They are holding huge support from public for this movement. Right or wrong I don't know .. but what I know is as soon as they started getting support, these people (Team Anna) got notices from various departments of Government of India. These departments are usually managed by all brilliant people who manage to score good marks in extremely difficult UPSC and similar state exams. All these people are highly skilled, brilliant. But the problem is they are usually mentored/dictated by the corrupt politicians. (Benefit of which is taken at the end of this movie).

Arvind Kejriwal resigned from his post in Feb-2006, and to get his no-dues certificate he needed to pay 9.26 laks rupees for study leave taken in year 2000. And coincidentally I-T department remembered this in 2011 only when he joined with Anna Hazare for Anti-corruption movement. Same is the case with Kiran Bedi and Baba Ramdev, all these news/penalties are just to trouble them to not to say a single word against government!!

Shame on this pollution in politics ..

 

There are many things I can relate with the Movie. And it's but obvious as movies are inspired from real life happenings. Coming back to movie .. it's awesome. Amazing direction!! Great play by all actors, but I got connected more to movie due to it's direction.

 And I just hope somebody like 'Krishnan' of real life would come forward to show real place of these politicians ...

  

P.S.: All the news and information mentioned above are taken from below news articles.

http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2012-06-04/news/32031809_1_baba-ramdev-s-trust-yoga-camps-bharat-swabhiman-trust

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/i-t-slaps-notice-on-arvind-kejriwal-asks-to-pay-dues-of-rs-9-lakh/1/149759.html

http://www.financialexpress.com/news/cong-selfgoal-how-manish-tewari-didnt-do-his-homework-on-anna/833559/

A new start !!

A new gmail account, a new blog on one of the special days of my life. 

 Yes, on this occasion of my birthday I created this new account just for blogs. My earlier account had few fiction blogs which  I don't want to mess up with the posts I would be posting here. Yesterday I read one tweet "The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings" and decided to start afresh ... 

A Nostalgic Morning: 

Today morning I got calls from my relatives, my friends with warmth birthday wishes. And since then I was wondering how one complete year passed to last year's birthday celebration. 

I was in my bedroom watching episode of Prison Break on my laptop after finishing a wonderful masala rice prepared by me for dinner. I knew all my friends would come to my house so they can eat a yummy cake cut by me. So I checked my watch, it was 11:10 PM of 31st May. So I thought they would come by 11:45 PM to observe 12:00 AM muhurat. My roommates were behaving as if they don't know about by my birthday, they were ignorant and so was I. 

After exact 10 mins, not sure what happened I forgot about my birthday. May be due to the episode I was watching I was engrossed in watching it. And suddenly I heard sound of vuvuzela near my ear. All friends who were there in London were at my house. Jenny brought bought cake from my favorite cake shop patisserie-valerie. Ash brought it to home from there. Friends gifted me suit cum blazer. Jenny gave me Sony Digital Photo frame with amazing photos loaded into it. Ash/Bhuvana/Priya gave me amazon voucher which I used to buy my most desired XBOX. What a day night it was!! 

Still I remember that prison break episode I was watching. And I would remember it for a life time .. because of that episode I got 'surprise' on my birthday. Because of that episode I didn't realize when all friends came into our house (108). 

Exact one year passed to this, still I feel as if it happened few days back .. 

Thanks to Jenny for arranging such a wonderful cake and wonderful gift, thanks Ash to collect it on time .. (this is a long story) .. Thanks all rommies to take time to go to Oxford street and go to H&M to buy blazer (you people didn't know I was following you :P)  Thanks for all friends who came on time and making a wonderful birthday.. 

This time as well I cut the cake .. again thanks to Jenny  for arranging such a wonderful chocolate delight cake..

I came back to 2012 as soon as my phone vibrated. Another call to wish me! 

Really so many people around you .. and it feels so nice to see how wishing to a person matters to them .. 
And believe me to remember a date and arrange things is most difficult task. It's not just about wishing or celebrating any special day but it's about a feeling to do it on time. 


So on this special day I have decided to note down, set reminder of birthdays/anniversaries  so I won't forget it and I would request people reading this to do the same. One call .. one wish can make a day special .. this is what happened to me .. 


Thanks again for all wishes .. it made my day !!